wistful lois

Sad news

Tuesday morning I lost my grandma. She was the last living grandparent I had left, and I knew whenever she would pass away I would take it the hardest. She was a fantastic person, a good mother and an amazing grandma. On Easter I was thinking of her, how she would hide Easter baskets full of trinkets and goodies at her house and give my sister and I each a typed clue that we each had to solve to find another clue and follow a series of them that finally led us to our Easter baskets. On Easter my husband and I got so busy with out two children we forgot to call our families in Chicago (mine) and California (his). Monday night she had a major heart attack while watching the Blackhawks NHL playoff game with my aunts and uncle at her home. (That's right my 88 year old grandma was watching hockey, that's the spunky kind of lady she was!)

At the hospital the doctors seemed optimistic at first, but later into the early hours of the morning found her to be too medically unstable with too low of blood pressure to survive a surgery to perform a cardiac cath to remove the blockage. What's worse is they highly suspected there was a tear in the artery that had become occluded. (For those who don't know, the actual muscle tissue of the heart has all sorts of little arteries that supply blood and oxygen to the walls/ muscle tissue of the heart and these guys are often the ones that become blocked and when the blood flow and oxygen is blocked to the heart muscle tissue, that is when a heart attack generally occurs, and the torn artery was the one supplying blood to the heart muscle itself, and also causing blood to leak into the pericardium, which is a membranous sac that surrounds and encases the actual heart itself) so it was a very very bad situation the doctors couldn't fix.

They said all that could be done was to make her comfortable and if her blood pressure dropped any further it would be a matter of hours before she would pass away.

All of this happened in the middle of the night into the wee hours Tuesday morning. My sister called me with the bad news of grandmas critical condition after she left the hospital after midnight. However we have the ringer turned off on our phone in our bedroom because our three year old often wanders in there in the middle of the night and crawls into bed with us. I also left my cell phone in another room so I didn't find all this out until I woke up the next morning. But I live in Atlanta, they are all in Chicago and I have a 3 year old and 4 month old, what can I do?

I spoke with my dad later that morning after my sister and I spoke, he said he was at the hospital, she was doing better, good blood pressure, good vital signs, she was having conversations, smiling, telling the nurses all about me, my sister and my two children (her great grandchildren). Then without warning really, when her children were in the room with her, she suddenly and quickly passed away.

I was devastated. I never even got to say goodbye. I feel just horrible I didn't call on Easter, that I didn't speak to her on the phone when my dad was talking to me in the hospital, and that I couldn't be there. I was the only one who wasn't there and I feel just awful. I also feel terrible and guilty that my husband and I didn't take a trip up to Chicago earlier this month as we had potentially talked about, but never did. I wanted to take the trip up there to have my family meet my son, particularly my grandmother, and it's too late. All my grandparents passed away while I have lived here in Atlanta and it has been so hard being the one person so far away.

I am just so sad and devastated by her loss. She was sharp to the very last minute of her life, and my aunt said her last wish for all of us is to be happy in our lives. My grandma was fantastic. This is a woman who was a mother to four children, a daughter of a Polish and Russian immigrant, was a teacher, a secretary, typed EVERYtHING, never used a clothes dried because lime dried clothes smelled better, could drive stick shift, and kept in touch with us on skype. She insisted we get Skype for her to see her great grand children! She bought and sold stock, and always thought of others before herself.

I miss her so much. It happened so fast and unexpected. She was completely independent, full of life and had no known illnesses when it happened. It completely blindsided me. I just can't believe she is gone.
loisclark working

Superman friends...halp!

Okay I am in serious need of updating my avi's. I haven't a clue how to make them but anywho, nor do I have the time but I loves to borrow from talented folks who make them. Any of you out there who have avis to share or pages on lj where I can go to get some more current Supeman ones? You know, MOS type stuff. Will post MOS review/ opinions about that film later...but short summary is I liked it. Thanks again all. And for those who went to Chicago, I wish I could have gone, and am so jealous. I hope you all had a great time!
happy lois

Due in December!

Happy to announce we are expecting baby number 2 in December! Due date is December 12, husbands birthday is December 13th. How about that? Also to note my daughter will be almost 3. Her birthday is in January. Incidentally her due date was January 11 and it was 1-11-11. This baby's due date will be 12-12-13. Dd was born 1-20-11 though, was 10 lbs 10 oz and a vaginal delivery. I made it quite clear already I will not go that past my due date again and have that large of a baby vaginally.
happy lois

Oh babysitter!

So, hubby found out that he is getting two free tickets to the PGA Masters tournament in April. He got the tickets for the last day, which is when they decide the winner and award the green jacket...so really big deal, tickets are quite impossible to get, and the chance to go is quite literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. The day of golf starts at 8 am, and ends around six pm. We live in Atlanta, the torunament is in Augusta, Georgia about a three hour drive. So we have to either leave our house at 5 am or stay in Augusta overnight.

The problem is we need someone to watch our daughter. Yeah. Who the hell will do that? I mean we would have to have whoever be at our house overnight or ass crack of dawn. My hubbys parents live in California so we know that is out of the question for them to come. I mentioned it to my mom who lives outside Chicago and her response was "well, sometimes you just have to make sacrifices, I had to stay home with your sister so your dad could take you to see Mister Rogers and I gave up my ticket to your friends dad."

Yeah, mom not the same thing. I have left messages on my cousins phone (who lives in the Atlanta area)who has previously said they would watch our dd if we ever wanted to go on an overnight somewhere. I have left a message with my dad who lives in Chicago. No one has called us back. I have a friend who sort of volunteered to watch her, but the dilemma is, if I can't find a sitter, I would stay home and my friends husband would be going with my husband to the tournament.
happy lois

Happy New Year! resolutions?

So, it is a new year, my resolutions are as follows:

Get more organized with daily clutter.

Try to keep my temper.

Be more active.

So far....I have bought a tub to put my daughter's daycare crafts in, instead of scattered in the laundry room and office. Christmas decorations are taken down. All of them....except for the four spools of outdoor lights sitting in the foyer right now...yeah, after posting this, I should do something about that.

I have not exercised officially except twice...I don't know if counting taking the stairs all day in the hospital going floor to floor counts for exercise (apart from when I get there, because really...like hell I'm going to walk up 7 flights of stairs at the ass crack of dawn when I'm still somewhat asleep).

I have only gotten pissed at hubby twice...once when he "kindly" reminded me that I accidentally put his sweater in the dryer instead of letting it air dry(excuse me mr. Perfect...I seem to remember my expensive $40 a pair bra and jeans have found their way into the dryer on more than one occasion) and when I mentioned I could go to work a little later than currently, today at 7am went upstairs waiting to see what the hold up was, and DD was still asleep in her crib! (Just FYI, I have to leave the house by 7am to be starting work at a decent hour...clearly that did not happen today).

Okay, so I'm not perfect, but I'm working on it. Anyone else with resolutions? What are they?

General schtuff.

Okay, so I haven't posted much about anything for a loooong time, so I'll just take a few to do that while the baby (18 mo toddler)is asleep.

I have been busy, not with anything earthshatteringly exciting...but busy. Work, house, kid, etc.

DD is 18 mos old, crazy, I can't believe that. I am not pregnant, nor am I trying to become so, at least not right now, maybe we'll start working on that more toward the end of the year.

My parents came to visit, separately, as they are divorced and had nice visits. Dad just left this AM and was a huge help to hubby, as we decided to rip a bunch of crap up from our basement. We found a nice little suprise, although we had a bit of a mold issue, so I knew there was somewhere where the mold was comming from. Long story short, two of the walls in the basement have had the stylin' 70's wood panneling ripped off because they had mold, the carpet and pad...gone. The shitty bar...gone. All the ceiling pannels from the drop down ceiling (that smelled oh so funky and I won't even begin to tell you all how many little "poppy seed"-like roach droppings we found in the ceiling tiles)...gone. A major project, most of which I had nothing to do with since my Dad and hubby worked at it. And now we're on hold with the project because the foundation repair company can't come to fix our crappy basement for two more weeks. Then we'll be about 4K poorer but at least we will have fixed the basement moisture issue.

Dad and his wife were nice to watch our little one and we were able to escape to Asheville NC for a few days. I liked the Biltmore and the hotel we stayed, but Asheville itself wasn't exactly my thing. Oh well, live and learn. I don't mind hippies, really I don't. But that was all there was. I mean the extreme. I mean people who are not homeless who leave trails of stink behind them and it is clear they have not bathed in at least a week. The mountains were beautiful, though. I mean, what's not to like about that?

Back to work tomorrow, and back to reality. OH well! Planning a trip out to California next month, although buying plane tickets would probably be a good idea sometime soon. Hubby and I are having a discussion about how many tickets to buy. DD could still sit on our lap, and us not pay for her seat, but I do not want to have her sit on my lap for 4.5 hrs, change planes and have her sit on our laps for another hour flight. Nope. I'd rather buy an extra ticket so she can hang in her carseat in peace. So I told hubby that if he doesn't want to buy her a ticket, that is fine, then he can sit with her on the flight there and back and I want no part of that. Nope. I don't mind her on my lap for a bit, but over 4 hours...um no. Pass!

Also planning on suprising my sister to go to Chicago for her 30'th b-day. Her hubby and I have been making plans, somewhat in cahoots about it all. She has no clue.

Also planning on making a trip to Chicago for Christmas this year...and yes I know it is going to be major suckage traveling with DD who will be almost two. But I do want her to have some winter fun, sledding in the backyard, playing in snow, etc. Stuff that I got to do on a daily basis that she can't since we live in Atlanta where people think it's a blizzard if more than an inch of snow hits the ground.

The only plane tickets I actually have bought, are for September...it was a hell of a deal and I could not pass them up, also have not been home home for over two years, as same for hubby making it out to California, so we are seriously overdue for a REAL vacation. Finally, in one month....we'll get one. Beach here we come!

Hope everyone on the F list is good.
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happy lois

(no subject)

I need a break. Hopefully tomorrow on Mother's day I'll get one. I had one hell of a day at work today, I come home from a long day, having worked overtime every day this week...and my husband meets me at the car with my child saying "Take her, please, she hasn't eaten anything all day, she's been fussy...."

Me: "Did you try tylenol?"

Hubby: "No. Why would I do that?"

Me: "Because she hasn't eaten anything all day, she's probably teething again, has sore gums and doesn't want to eat because it hurts."

Hubby:"But she wasn't whiny all morning, she just wouldn't eat."

Me: "No shit. And why do you think she hasn't been eating? You ought to know by know, when she teethes, sometimes she isn't whiny, sometimes she just drools a ton (which she did yesterday) has a diaper rash from hell (Which she has) and just stops eating."

Hubby is mad that I am mad at him, takes DD into the house, and remember, I work in a hospital, have been working with very sick people with some seriously contagious stuff. DD starts crying when hubby puts her on the floor. He gets the tylenol, except is apparently the brand (that should have been thrown out) that is too thin of a liquid...and I know is too thin because every time it has been given to her, she gags on it and throws it up and everything else in her stomach up. And today no exception. He starts giving it to her, she gags and throws up everywhere.

Me:" Did you give her the brand that she threw up with last time?"

Hubby: "Yes."

Me: "I told you not to give that to her. Every time she takes it, she throws up."

Hubby: "You never told me that."

Me: " I sure as hell did, the last time she puked everywhere, I told you it's too thin of a liquid solution for her and it's making her gag and throw up."

And so on and so forth. I am tired, overworked, and of course, after the puking incident, fed up. I need a vacation. I need a date night between me and my husband. I need a fucking break. OH, wait. My family lives out of state. Yeah. Good times.

Ugh. Well, there is always wine.
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happy lois

My Fucking luck.

Recently have had siding work done on our house, and shelled about $8,000 for it. They knicked an electrical line in our kitchen tripping the circut breakers. So the electrician came today and fixed the problem, except the "fix" did not fix the problem, and the line still tripped. Called siding company, not all that happy. Siding company manager and electrician both came back to house. Finally decided they had to rip some of the newly installed siding off along with the plywood beneath to find the problem from the outside, they fixed it. Told me the siding guy is going to be comming to fix the hole they left in the siding in half an hour. Over half an hour, the guy is still not here. And guess what, it is not only just raining a little, it is POURING! I have a hole in the side of my house, pouring rain and no siding guy fixing the hole. I am majorly pissed. I called siding guy and basically said "where the hell are you, it's raining, there is a hole in my house and electrical boxes are exposed."

He said "I will be there in fifteen minutes."

And I said "Well I really hope you can hurry because it's starting to rain pretty hard here, and I have a pretty good sized hole in the side of my house, the plywood is yanked off and the interior drywall, insulation and electrical boxes are exposed. I'm not really happy about that."

I look on weatherunderground and see only a few small clouds in the entire metro area that are dropping rain...and guess where they are? RIGHT OVER MY FUCKing house. That's pretty much it. SonofaBITCH. My daughter is napping. Screw it. I'm having a beer. One heck of a day off this is turning out to be.

Great, they just showed up. And I really want to know how the hell they are going to fix my house and seal it back up now that the area is all wet and I'll probably get mold in there everywhere.
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The most awseome dream ever. And I mean it.

I am posting because last night, I had the most awesome dream. Ever. I had to get out the details before it's forgotten, as most dreams often slip away as we get farther from them and the time they occured. So I'm jotting down what I can recall right here. Because it's a bit bizzare as most dreams are, but it's so awesome and could be the base for an awesome fanfic. Whenever the hell I've got time to write that. So the following is a dream. IN all it's sincere bizzareness.

And yes, I can fly.

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